And now anyone reading this is wondering what drugs I'm on, if I've had enough sleep, of if I'm just a completely random nutter with internet access who thinks it's fun to plague the rest of the world with insane ramblings.
OK, so that last bit's actually not that far off...
Basically, what's brought this on is some ponderings I've been having recently over relationships and being in love, and all that. For some reason, a great many of my friends talk to me about their relationships and for some reason I am able to advise them. Which is strange, considering my last relationship lasted all of nine months and has been over for more than two years, so I have no idea where this "infinite wisdom" comes from.
Actually... I do. It comes from observing people. I'm a people-watcher. I listen when they talk, I see how they interact. I'm the little fly on the wall on the outside of groups who says very little but takes mental notes of how people deal with other people. I've done it since I was about 15 years old, these days it just comes naturally.
But going back to relationships... I don't understand a lot of things. The main thing being: how can a person say he/she loves another, but then hurt them? A friend of a friend is going through a divorce, and the ex is using this person's child as leverage to make this person go back into the relationship. Even though it's clearly over from what I understand. Thing is... does the ex even consider what that does to the child? Why use a person, a baby, who has no concept of how to protect itself emotionally, in a situation like that? It's sick... it's cruel. Not just for the kid, but for the friend of a friend involved.
Apparently, the ex does it "for love". Love? I've known love. Going on me, and the kind of person I know I am, because I can speak for no other... I could never hurt someone I loved like that. Trying to put myself in the ex's shoes... sure, I'd be upset that the relationship was over, but I'd be more concerned over the wellfare of my child than trying to force someone back into a relationship with me by using the self-same child as blackmail material.
That friend of a friend is trying to move on, but is constantly being hurt by the actions of the ex, unable to go back, unable to move forward... it's hurting everyone involved. Even I, looking in from the outside, can feel the pain they're going through.
I see it so often. People get involved in relationships with others who... are not suited to them. Incompatible personalities, abusive partners, manipulation... I see it just about every day, and not just on Dr Phil or some lame soap opera. I can't understand how people can say they love one another and then either hurt or let themselves be hurt by those self-same partners.
Sure, letting go is one of the hardest things to do. It took me a long time to let go of my last relationship. My ex and I are friends now, but it took almost two years to get to that point. Even though I knew the relationship was in trouble back then, it took me getting sick from worrying about it and one of my friends threatening me with physical harm to get me to finally break up with her. Even though things between us were unhealthy, and even though I knew I had fallen out of love with her it was hard to do it, hard to take the plunge.
But I did, and she let me go, even though she still loved me. I'm grateful for that. She could have made my life hell afterwards, just like this friend of a friend's ex.
So anyways. The point of this entry is... there is no point, really. Love is supposed to be pure and beautiful. Not tainted and hurtful. Love is a wonderful emotion. It should not cause pain, one should not hurt the ones they love for the sake of getting what you want, or for revenge, or money. And one shouldn't manipulate those one cares about.
Such "love" is actually poison.
Stunning photo by http://msog.deviantart.com/.
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