Why I Don't Drink:

My mother has atrophy of the cerebellum. The cerebellum is a small part of the brain, situated at the back of the head, which controls balance, equilibrium, co-ordination, and I think some parts of the brain that control speach and rationality are affected as well. Mom struggles to walk, her memory is affected and a lot of the time her rationality is akin to a small child's.

It's hard for all of us, especially for Dad and me. I think Bron doesn't feel as hopeless because she lives in her own place with Brett and the baby, but for Dad and me, we see it every day, we live with it constantly. It's hard. I can't really talk to her because she doesn't really "get" what I tell her... I have to take care of her, more than the other way round, and it's been that way for a long time, even before she was diagnosed when I was 16. Even when Dad was sick when I was 14, I was already taking on adult responsibilities, trying to keep my life together.

What makes things even harder is that Mom used to be an actress, she was amazing and beautiful on stage, and later she became one of the best known radio and voice actresses in South Africa. She had amazing tallents, she used to read to me, and it was like watching a play, there were different voices for every single one of the characters. Thanks to her stories like Narnia, the Secret Garden and Railway Children became alive to me.

But things are different now. She's been getting steadily worse over the last eleven years, noticably.

By now, anyone reading this may be wondering how something like this happens. The answer is very simple: Mom is an alcoholic. She drank very heavily for a great many years. She doesn't any more, she's been sober in AA for 16 years, but even then the damage was done.

My uncle, Mom's brother, Christie, has wet brain, so I guess my cousins are worse off. Their dad doesn't even know who they are. Also caused by long years of alcohol abuse.

And I almost lost my own dad, back when I was 14, to cirhosis of the liver, also caused by many long years of drinking. He's been sober for 6 years though, thankfully with no lasting effects.

But this is why I choose not to drink alcohol. I don't want to, one day, put my children through what my sister and I, and my cousins, have been through. I don't want to become completely reliant on my family to get around, cooped up at home constantly, sinking further into depression. I don't want to slowly lose my mind. I don't want to die like that.